The Key To A Good Joke Is…
It’s no *stifles laughter* joke.Read More
The Key To A Good Joke Is…
It’s no *stifles laughter* joke.Read More
…your Dad’s Astra
A father played by Tommy Lee Jones and son played by Brad Pitt on the opposite sides of nowhere, destroy all they touch…wait, are these guys young enough to pass the physicals?Read More
Avengers End the game…
…of spoiler hysteria. Ok, not.
Yes, spoilers. But also! Spoilers. However, let us add: spoilers. The Gonger tries not to spoil it, but of course, he spoils it.Read More
What doesn’t break you only makes you…
The Gonger contemplates: is he one of the many personalities of The Horde? Possible!Read More
As American as apple pie, topped with French mousse
The Sister Brothers bears all the hallmarks of an American-as-apple-pie film genre co-opted by a European.Read More
Do you remember…
It was a gentler time. It was a simpler time. Director Jonah Hill heads back to those days with Mid90’s.Read More
The Gonger welcomes Michael Myers back to the big screen
The Gonger goes to see Halloween and ends up battling legions of undead radioactive robo zombies. Don’t ask.Read More
The Gonger takes a sip of…
Eddie Brock is a loo-hoo-hoozer! Venom is a loo-hoo-hoozer! Together they’re a couple of loo-hoo-hoozers!Read More
The Gonger saw this Solo...
Han Solo is everybody’s favorite smuggler. The Gonger is everybody’s favorite critic. Put them together and you get cinemagic!Read More
The Gonger goes on and on about...
Avengers: Infinity War
The Gonger can’t stop talking about the Avengers movie that has everyone in it you’d expect to be in an Avenger movie.…Read More
The Gonger goes to the movies...
...to watch Black Panther
Give the Gonger a break. Allan doesn't go see movies only because they're one of the top grossing movies ever - he goes to see movies when they are one of the top grossing movies ever and all his friends won't stop nagging him about why he hasn't seen one of the top grossing movies ever. Here is his obligatory review of Black Panther.Read More
Biology gets all twisted up when an alien (???) shows up and takes a sight seeing tour of the Southern Reach. Five ladies of science enter this twisted region to investigate the odd phenomenon and perhaps learn something about themselves. Its like The Thing (1982) meets Stand by Me (1986). Heart warming and terrifying!Read More
Scientists tamper with the very fabric of time and space to create free energy and wonder why the laws of physics turn straight up savage against them! Nothing comes for free fool! It's a...paradox?Read More
With nine Academy Award noms, Phantom Thread is primed for a big Oscar show. But the Gonger don't care none 'bout that. Let him lay it down for you.Read More
The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) finally gets the girl... or does the girl get him? It's a nice creature feature by Guillermo del Toro.Read More
Star Wars Episode IIIV: The Last Jedi (2017)
Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver, Domhnall Gleeson, Kelly Marie Tran, Laura Dern, Benicio Del Toro, Carrie Fisher and, yes, he’s back! Mark Hamill!
Synopsis: Space wizards in a star war! Haven’t you been paying attention? Fine, hot off the heels of The Force Awakens, Rey tries to enlist the help of the legendary Luke Skywalker in the fight against The First Order. Luke is reluctant to join the fray, however, as he believes the Jedi must end. He teaches her a bunch of space wizarding stuff anyway.
Special F/X: It's a Disney-backed Star Wars! So of course it's a feast for the eyes! And they once again mix the practical with the enhancement of CGI. The beasts and aliens were unique, the spacecraft looked badass, and the addition of a familiar face was done with love and care. The special F/X team win again! 2/2
Soundtrack: John Williams delivers the same old, same old. It's not a problem at all but I get the feeling it has become old hat for the legendary composer. It works, but I would like to see the innovation of, oh, I don’t know, The Phantom Menace? I know, you all wanna chop off my head for saying that but I will defend that soundtrack as being the best in the series till the day I die! 1.5/2
Directing: Oof! What am I going to say? I want people to like me! I really do! But my words must speak truth! Ok, here we go; this is Rian Johnson's worst movie! Ahhh! But he still brings the big guns! It's just, well, I wanna say it's the studio's fault but I know Johnson knows he’s making a Star Wars and it has to be a Star War(s). The film is speckled with his unique style but I was hoping for more of it. With films like Looper and Brick under his belt, it's what I come to expect! He’s cocky, though, like he can do no harm and he doesn’t! Damn it! It is missing that Johnson edge and for that... 1.5/2
Writing: Now in saying all that, Johnson pens a mean script! He gets it and reinvents the saga while keeping up with the canon. The Last Jedi full of surprises and wit which screams that Johnson style. It has that Johnson morality to it, as well, which allows for fantastic lessons in a Star War(s). This flick is made for the youth of today! It really isn’t written with nostalgia in mind and that's a bit of relief with all these remakes and Stranger Things mucking about (isn’t Steve great in the new season though?). A few too many wisecracks gives this flick a cocky sort of tone which really wasn’t that necessary. I would have kept the humour in Luke and Rey's scenes but ditched elsewhere to allow for the real pearl to take hold. I’m not a world class screen writer, though. I just pretend to be one to pick up chicks. 1.5/2
Acting: Ridley is awesome and, along with Driver, worked extremely hard to make these characters work. That light sabre battle is wicked! Boyega opposite Tran is overflowing charm and adoration - it's pretty mushy but I likes it. Everything Oscar Isaac touches is gold once again, no surprise there. Gleeson is more vulnerable in this flick which brings a new dynamic to his Hux character. That guy is a joy to watch in any role. I first thought Del Toro was a weird addition to the cast but he gives us a really fantastic character ripped straight out of a comic book! Very cool. It must be said that this is Carrie Fisher's last film (as if meant to be) and she dominates the screen, each one of her scenes is a wonder. Now that I successfully gave lip service to the cast as a whole, let me get down to the brass tax and talk about what you came here to actually read about: Mark Hamill’s return as Luke Skywalker! Luke is hands down my favourite character in the saga and Hamill embodies the character as if he’s been doing it for years. Here he plays old man Luke but he doesn’t play it that way. It's more like Luke the Wise and it doesn’t end there. There is this gravity he brings to the role as we go through this new journey with him. His scenes with Rey are playful and intense! As he walks through the the Millennium Falcon we get the sense of loss and his reunion with R2 is magic! Probably my favourite scene. Then, and yes minor spoilers, a light sabre battle that is easily one of the best the franchise has ever conceived! Truly a remarkable performance! Top grades all around! 2/2
8.5/10 Oh, heck with it. I'll give it another 0.5 for Luke's return, rounding this up to a 9/10. There, you happy all you Star Wars heads? I'm sure it's an 11/10 in your most valued opinion! But that's mathematically impossible! I don’t wanna hear it! The Gonger has spoken!
Allan Stringer @Gonger_Reviews
Allan Stringer (if that's his real name) hails from the Mutara Nebula and has travelled through space and time to check out the only thing us pathetic humans have to offer: movies. Marvel at his intelligence!
A billionaire, art restorer, fisherman, and two students use arcane technology from a bygone era to try and bring a news reporter back to life! The Gonger seeks to do justice to Justice League!Read More
It's been ten years since the release of No Country For Old Men, directed by the brothers Ethan and Joel Coen. From Midwestern crime comedies built on sing-song accents and bloody woodchippers like Fargo to slapstick road pictures masquerading as Greek myths like Raising Arizona, if there is a cultural footprint somewhere in the United States, they Coen brothers will film it.Read More
Two veterans return to Mississippi after the Allies win World War II but soon find that not much changes in the Delta. Even if you liberated the world from tyranny.Read More
There has been a murder!!! Murder of the Cinema! Chief Inspector Gonger has been tasked to find the guilty and bring justice to the cinematic world!Read More