In The Mind of TJ Dillashaw
When I beat Dominick Crudz everybody knew I beat him. I went to the gym on Tuesday and everybody was saying, ‘Yo, TJ, you got jobbed. Domidink sucks’ It was obvious to all the smartest people. My numbers blew his out of the water.
The state of the UFC right now is so stupid. Example number one: Demetrious ‘Minnie Mouse’ Johnson turning down a fight with me, the best Bantamweight on the planet, TJ Dillashaw. Everybody thinks this is DJ making good business decisions for himself. You know what’s a good business decision? Moving to Colorado to train with Bang and leaving behind all the hangers-on at Team Alpha Male. I know good deals. I’m like Donald Trump. I make the best deals. DJ’s deals were terrible deals. Trust me, I know good deals.
Everyone tells me my problem should be with the UFC. That’s dumb. They just make the fights. It’s DJ’s fault for not taking the fight. I remember distinctly after beating The Decisionator, Dana said, ‘Hey, you’ll get your rematch.’ When I didn’t get it, I knew it wasn’t the UFC’s fault - it was Urijah conspiring against me to get his leech Cody the shot. It’s just like how GSP totally lied to me about the MMAA. The problem isn’t with the UFC, the problem is all the fighters not named TJ Dillashaw.
Remember when I beat Renen Barao? Wasn’t that the greatest upset you’d ever seen (my numbers blew his out of the water)? I earned that shot fair and square. No one was there for me. Sure, Urijah same some stuff but read between the lines, people. He was using reverse psychology to try and screw me. No one was advocating for me to get that shit. It was only me. Cody didn’t earn his shot at Dramanick fair and square. That was Dummynick hand-picking his own fight, which is totally unfair to me, TJ Dillashaw.
Listen, everybody likes to pick on me. That’s cool. But I don’t hand-pick my fights, like Mickey Mouse. Its like this, there was that time on TUF when I was upset because, like, they wanted me to fight John Dodson too early and I wanted Roland Delorme – but that wasn’t fight picking. Roland had to go to the hospital that week so it was just good strategy, ok? That was just playing the bracket. Diego Brandao, Akira Corissani, and Marcus Brimage called me ‘Draft Dodger’. I don’t even know what that means! Like the NFL Draft? Who would want to skip the NFL Draft? What idiots. Where are they now? LOL. They didn’t think about good business deals like me, TJ Dillashaw. I blow their numbers out of the water.
Now a good negotiator shouldn’t do what I’m about to do. But guess what? Rule number two of being a good businessman is putting all the cards are on the table. Here’s why I, TJ Dillashaw, am owed, deserve, and expect a title shot against Minnie Mouse:
- I’m the number one contender. It doesn’t matter if I’m number one at Bantamweight, Featherweight, or Women’s Straweight – I am number one. My numbers blow everyone’s out of the water. Period. No one further questions your honor. End of story. No other argument needed.
- WHAT ABOUT HOW I BEAT THE LAST GUY WHO BEAT DJ!? Stupid Dominick Crumbz. I beat him so bad. My numbers blew his out of the water. The refs knew it, the judges knew it, Dana knew it. They just gave it to Dramanick for promotional purposes. Now it’s my turn to screw someone for promotional purposes. Dana said so.
- I’m not a snake in the grass, ok, so stop calling me that.
- Urijah, stop trolling me on Twitter. I know al your fake accounts, ok?
- My numbers….they just blow EVERYONE’S out of the water.
- I can make the weight. Have you seen my physique? I can totally make 125. I’ve taken dumps that are bigger than Mickey Mouse. I could make the 10 lbs. weight class if I wanted to.
This is so frustrating. Like, shut up Speedy Gonzalez Mouse. Don’t ruin your legacy by not fighting me, TJ DIllashaw. Do the deal. I’m telling you, trust me, it’s a good deal.
Whatever. I’m done talking.
…my numbers blow his out of the water.
Rhys Dowbiggin @Rdowb
Rhys has worked six years in the public relations industry rubbing shoulders with movie stars (who ignored him) to athletes (who tolerated him). He likes tiki-taka football, jelly beans, and arguing with Bruce about everything.