Gonger Reviews: Murder on the Orient Express
There has been a murder!!! Murder of the Cinema! Chief Inspector Gonger has been tasked to find the guilty and bring justice to the cinematic world!
Read MoreThere has been a murder!!! Murder of the Cinema! Chief Inspector Gonger has been tasked to find the guilty and bring justice to the cinematic world!
Read MoreHela has returned from her long imprisonment to wreak havoc on the people of Asgard and it's up to the wildly incompetent Thor to stop her! The wildly competent Gonger, Allan Stringer, lays the hammer down on this latest Marvel feature length film!
Read MoreWhat happens when you take Michael Fassbender, terrible writing, music, directing, editing, and a Val Kilmer look-a-like? A time vampire of a movie. Allan needed help from all the best vampire hunters out there to get over this one.
Read MoreIn total, 45 actresses and counting have come forward to share their accusations of sexual harassment or assault against former producer Harvey Weinstein. But Weinstein didn't come out of nowhere. Hollywood has admitted this for decades - it's been right in front of our faces. They make us pay for it.
Read MoreI fell of the Star Wars wagon years ago. My reaction to the new Star Wars trailer was something akin to finding out a Starbucks had popped up on the corner from your apartment. What, another one? Do they really need another one!? But of course they do.
Read MoreIn the process of "retiring" a fugitive replicant, Agent K unearths a troubling secret that threatens to tear the very fabric of an already delicate society. Dark and shadowy forces move in and he must ask himself "Can I be more human than human?" Oh, son! It's Blade Runner all right!!!
Read MoreI'm just going to lay it out here for you folk: I watched this movie that was so good that even I'm friggin impressed. This is the story of Mother Nature's relationship with God and all the thousands of years humans have inhabited her... it gets pretty rough.
Read MoreSince Winter’s Bone, there has been a pervasive feeling that Lawrence had yet to capitalize on the immense promise she showed as an actress. Her power in the years since has been at the box office and as a sex symbol. The feeling of ‘When will Jennifer Lawrence arrive again?’ began to fade with each passing picture.
Read MoreThe start to a bad joke: what do you get when you combine a 'plot' with a 'straw man'? A plot typified by a misrepresented set-up and a lack of the according structure to reach a specific, planned outcome, that's what! War for the Planet of the Apes is not a bad joke, but it could have been a better movie.
Read MoreWorld building. When did we turn the term into a feature used to sell, no different than bragging about your Ford F-150 boasting a ‘Best All-Class Safety rating’. Why did we forget the beauty of world building is in actuallity the beauty of film making?
Read MoreIn 2016, Rhys watched 227 movies. That’s a movie every one-and-a-half days. How can he remedy a habit that takes up 227 moments, 27,240 minutes, and 19 full days of his life? Quit Netlfix.
Read MoreFor thirty years, Blade Runner has been a standard-bearer for science fiction films. Its stunning visuals, distinctive synth sound, and its laconic yet thought-provoking themes have seen decades of copycats try to replicate it. We find ourselves in 2017 and the film that set the standard is back with Blade Runner 2049. What does it mean to cope?
Read MoreThere’s a dumb saying, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.” That’s stupid. Sometimes you know exactly what you’ve got, which is why you get super-duper pissed when it’s taken away. I feel that way about The Knick.
Read MoreSuperman doesn’t follow anyone’s rules but his own – just like Lex Luthor. Batman doesn’t take orders from Commissioner Gordon – and neither does the Joker. Reigns has been booked to never take sh*t from anybody. And we hate him for it.
Read MoreA history lesson: the Oscars were created by Louis B. Mayer as a means to not only promote his stars, but bring them together as a group and thus dissuade them from unionizing. Hand out a few awards, keep people happy, and no on one would feel the need to organize!
Read MoreAn open letter to French-Canadian filmmaker Denis Villeneuve upon his appointment at the helm of a Dune film adaptation.
Read MoreLa La Land won big at the Golden Globes. For once, Hollywood does right by itself. In all their admiration for themselves (let's hold an awards show for our special club and let the regular folks watch it!), the Hollywood elite find a way to appreciate the story of their industry and its true cache: artistry.
Read MoreWe were told Rogue One would be a ‘standalone’ story. We were told it would be a genre film with heavy doses of a war and a heist films. Guess what? Neither really is it, hmm!
Read MoreA movie about Apes can't only be about Apes. This is why the reboot of the Planet of the Apes films have been so critically successful - they're way passed monkeying around.
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